Conspiracy to Immobilize

Have you ever simply cuddled up to a warm kitty and burrowed your face in her big fluffy belly? Maybe that's a little unsanitary, but I don't really care.

Or have you ever sat in bed with a journal and a cup of tea, but nothing to write?

When was the last time that your primary obligation was to do nothing at all?

It has been much too long for me.

Before returning to Vegas, God was speaking to me about rest. Resting in Him as well as just resting in general. I knew He was telling me to take it easy, to not load my plate with a hundred different things to do every week, and I planned on doing exactly that... not much. As soon as I arrived though, the calendar was whipped out and the reminders were set. I told myself that I could rest between errands and appointments, but I knew I was only trying to fool myself.

But God drew me still nearer.

As soon as I moved home from the YWAM base, I was hit by a bug. It wasn't too bad, so I tried to pretend that it was not there so it wouldn't slow me down, but then my car went into cahoots with my immune system and decided not to work anymore. So Cornelius (my car) has been at the shop all week, and I have been trying to get along without it. After devising transportation plans for the rest of the week, my body decided not to let me leave the house either! At first I was frustrated, until I laid down to REST. Then it really clicked inside of me that I was ACTUALLY supposed to be resting! Not theoretically or planning to sometime in the future, really resting, right now.

Today I sat on my dad's bed as he worked and I studied and sipped on green tea. It was paradisiacal. I don't remember the last time I melted into a mattress and just... was.

Tomorrow I look forward to some awesomely restful time with God. And kitty cuddling. Can't leave out the kitties.


Hopefully since I've learned my lesson my car will be functional now. Eh God?


<3

Crocodile Dreams

Last night (Jan 7-8) I had quite the vivid dream.

I wouldn't go so far as to call it prophetic, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day. In fact I would say that it was more of a reflective sort of dream, even though to even say that one would need to be quite creative.

I even miss my babies that I adopted in my dream. They were so real! I have no clue what else to say about this dream. It was strange and vivid, not entirely pleasant, but I want my babies from the dream back. So weird.
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I was on a mission trip in Nepal with Joshua and Stacy, and we were driving somewhere in their new red convertible. Nepal at this point looked exactly like suburban America. There were extensive instructions on how to merge onto the freeway painted on the road of the onramp. Joshua got distracted reading the instructions and didn't notice the car right in front of him stopping suddenly. We rear ended the other car, and there was a big explosion that turned the cars to shrapnel and the road to rubble. 

We were all ok, but there was blood oozing into the mud from under Joshua's legs. He got up and was fine, but there was a badly mangled and obviously dead young Korean girl sinking in the mud. I got out of the car to help her, but the piece of road (which was about the size of my actual car) I was standing on fell away from the rest of the road. I fell down the hill, and the piece of road flattened me like roadkill. When Joshua and Stacy asked if I was alright, I said I was and came back up to help. 

I pulled the Korean girl out along with her parents, and the parents were unconscious but alive. I yelled for Meredith to come pray for them, but she wasn't around so the three of us prayed. The parents woke up, but it took a little longer to bring the girl to life. She came to life though, and we all went our separate ways.

Later while in a village-y sort of place, there was a strange supernatural disaster that killed all but 46 of adults who lived in Nepal (there were people being lifted into and dropped from the sky.. It was just plain weird). There were thousands of kids still alive though. I found two Nepali boys, a Nepali girl and an American girl who needed a home, so I asked them if they wanted me to be their mother. They all said yes, but the American girl had an abusive older brother who was very angry about it. He called her across the river and she went to him, but when he started yanking her around I told the other children to stay put while I swam across to fetch her. I had a hard time getting her back across, but we made it. 

When I got back, I just looked intently into the eyes of my new babies, not wanting to mix up their names or forget what they looked like... Also cherishing this moment when I first became a mother. The boys were about the same age, maybe 6 or 7. One was slightly darker and heavier, and he had his right eye injured in the disaster. His hair was meant to be short, but it was getting kind of shaggy. The other boy wasn't light, but lighter than the first. His hair was the same, but the opposite eye was injured and he was slightly leaner than the other. The Nepali girl was about 8, she was very dark and had corn rows in her shoulder blade length hair. She never stopped smiling, and had genuine joy just bubbling out all the time. The American girl was extremely small, as if undernourished. She was about 5, but was the height of a 2 1/2 year old,  and even smaller around. She had short, thin, straight, blonde hair that was held up with two pigtails.

Soon after there was a program put in place by foreign missionaries for the Nepali children. Families would move to Nepal and take in about 4-5 children and raise them as their own, and as responsible Nepali citizens, but with a foundation in truth about the one true God. 

There was a summer camp sort of thing going on, and so I took all my babies to stay at a cabin with me there. When we arrived, my sister was there! She was staying with my mom and a different family in another cabin, but she spent most of her time with me. She brought all of her clothes and luggage over to my cabin as well. She was somewhat excited to be an aunt, but was sad that I didn't have as much time to hang out with her. She would skip camp activities to just chill at my cabin while my kids were at the activities. We Skyped Dad on my iPod, and got frozen yogurt, etc etc, but she got in trouble one day and my mom was angry at me for taking her away, so she had to go back to her own cabin.  

The night she left, she left her stuff at my cabin, and tried to leave out the back door. I had a bad feeling about that door, so I told her to go the front way so I could watch and make sure she was safe. She was embarrassed but did it anyway. Up her steps she fell over and was even more embarrassed, but I waved to her goodnight, and she smiled and waved as well. I looked out the back door to see what was out there, and the back door was a very insecure door held by plastic rope and chains behind my dresser. When I looked out, it was a straight drop into the river! Just at the time when I was looking out, I saw a crocodile swim past. Even though I had embarrassed my sister, I was glad she was safe.

Seeing the condition of the back door worried me, so I tried to close it a little more securely. I went around closing all the doors and locking them, but eventually found that an entire wall was missing! I moved my babies into a room that was "secure", grabbed my camera and iPod, and slept in there for the night. I laid awake for hours that night, praying for my sister and my babies. I finally fell asleep, and that's when I woke up.

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Weird right? I know I haven't posted much of anything about the actual trip, but this just felt so important. I guess dreams are just strange like that.

BAM

Lately God has been teaching me a lot about pride. I never really thought I'd had a problem with it, but when you're not watching out it can creep up on you.

Sunday I was asked to preach in a Nepali church in Mumbai, and as I was praying about what to say, all I heard from the Lord was the word pride. I knew that God had already started speaking to my heart about it, but I didn't think it was that big of a problem area in my life. As I wrote the sermon God really convicted me of each scripture that He pointed out. I ended up just doing a study on James 4 that morning.

Today at a networking meeting/Christmas outreach prep, after I finished wrapping care packages, God pulled me outside for a chat. I had a good cry as I poured out my frustrations with team members, and a better cry as He convicted me to love them and stop letting stupid things get in the way of our team unity. It's amazing what a long conversation with God and a few tears will do for the soul.

As I was repenting of my pride, He told me to look up Proverbs 12:4, and it was like BAM. Cleansing conviction. I was previously not only frustrated with everyone on the team, but I had also been acting like quite the know-it-all... And still I didn't understand why I felt so disrespected at times. The verse pretty much summed it up in a sentence. Here's my situational paraphrase:

It's better to be humble and have the respect of your brothers, than to have a big mouth and give them every reason not to.

Anyways, I don't know exactly why I shared all that, but since God's teaching me about pride, I guess I'll just get over myself and be open.

And it's only week two! I'm excited to see what else God has to teach me on this journey.

From the Tea Corner

Wow!

So much has happened in the past couple weeks, I don't even know where to start. I guess the beginning is probably a good place.

While in transit to Mumbai, we found out that our housing fell through and our contact had to find something else for us. He did a great job of securing something else, but again the owners changed their minds. We ended up staying at a hotel for one night, and our contact found us an apartment that we could use for a couple weeks. We cleaned out the dirt and trash ridden apartment, not even daring to touch one bathroom. We worked on it for two days, and after it was spotless, the landlord decided not to let us stay there. It was a combination of the stress of her mom passing away, and the stress of having unwelcome foreigners in her apartment building.

Our contact brought us then to the Salvation Army hostel, which is located in the historic architecture-esque area of Mumbai. We even took the train from the station in Slumdog Millionaire almost every day! The hospitality of the people working there was amazing, and we were all extremely blessed to have been able to stay there.

Boy was it hot though! We never stopped sweating the entire time. Actually no, a couple of us stopped at a Café Coffee Day, and we ate at an air conditioned restaurant. But at least we never dealt with dry skin!

We worked alongside YWAM Mumbai in their different ministries, and got to partner with them in prayer. One of the first things we did was prayer walk through Kamathipura, one of the biggest red light districts in India. We also helped with their street kids, slum kids, HIV/AIDS, and prayer ministries.

The thing that touched my heart the most was simply being able to pray with Hindu families who were going through hard times. The ministry that YWAM Mumbai has already been doing with them has opened their hearts to Jesus, and helped them turn to Him in their time of need. In the future we are praying for those families to reject their idols and worship Yahweh alone, because He is the only one worthy of their praise, and the only one whose love can make them righteous. Praise the Lord for those guys in Mumbai doing His work there!

Today is our first full day in Kathmandu, and we are loving the weather and the culture already. It's cool enough during the day that we can wear jackets, but not so cold we must. At night it is chilly enough to get cozy with a hot cup of tea and a warm sleeping bag. I'm personally so glad to feel like it's really Christmas!

When we took the bus yesterday, we were all struck by the fact that the bus actually stopped and waited for us to get on, and one of the guys working on the bus helped us put our bags on the top! We aren't stared at quite as much here, but we are definitely not inconspicuous.

We are excited to get started today. We will be working with women rescued from trafficking situations, and maybe even going into clubs looking for girls to reach out to. I'm excited to really get into the anti-slavery aspect of the trip, especially seeing how our contacts already have the tools to rescue and rehabilitate the people they rescue.

Thank you so much for your prayers, and please keep them coming! We are going to need all the prayer backing we can get.

Prayer points:
Healing for Meredith's stomach
Overall health for Jake and Marissa (and the whole team)
Safety for the team and the people we'll be reaching out to
Lots and lots of blessings poured out on YWAM Mumbai and Kathmandu!

Thanks, and have a wonderfully blessed day :)

--God is my strength

Justice

Before reading this blog, please listen to this sermon by Paris Reidhead.

 Yes, it is long, and the beginning may not seem that exciting, but stick it out.

This is one of those paradigm shifting words from God that you cannot be unchanged by unless you consciously choose not to.

 

Wow.

Brenda Lewis played this sermon for our school, and it absolutely rocked our world. Our world had consisted of justice for the trafficked person, punishment and shame towards traffickers, and God's love towards us being our Christian focus. Now does this really sound that terrible? 

But who of us really desires the justice that we can serve on our own accord? Justice by the power of man would require punishment of any and all sin, death and permanent separation from God. Our idea of justice was warped. Saving the victims and taking out 'God's wrath' on the victimizers. But tell me what victim has achieved perfection, what victim deserves to be saved. Tell me also, what human who holds captive another human, takes away their rights, and forces them to do the unspeakable is LESS human than their victim. If JUSTICE... were to be served by the power of man alone, who would escape the gavel falling on their guilt?

Now who of us desires our own justice?

The only justice that we should be fighting for is justice towards God Himself! Human trafficking is unjust towards God, because the very people He purchased are not being turned over to Him, and are being stolen from Him.

NONE OF US deserves God. By our own power we can be only monsters of iniquity. God did not send His Son to purchase us ALL, just for you or me to choose who "deserve" Him. Who of us deserve Him? None of us deserve God, but He deserves us all.

I am not speaking of a message of a condemnation, but one of redemption. But, if you and I cannot see our sin, recognize our own guilt, how then can we recognize the beautiful, powerful, heart wrenching, chain breaking mercy of our God? We are free! We are righteous! We are holy.

How can I now say we are holy, when only moments ago I pointed out the fact that we are monsters of iniquity? Because God Himself bought us from iniquity! The only righteous purchase of a human is the purchase by the blood of our Saviour. A man buys a girl for an hour and she is a prostitute. A woman sells a child and he is a slave. A resistance steals a child and murders his family, brainwashes him, hands him a gun, and he is a child soldier. Adam and Eve sold humanity into sin, and we are monsters of iniquity. God bought us, and we are holy. What purchase will you and I choose to come under?

The only true justice is God's justice. Justice that declares us purchased by the blood of Christ, holy, and worthy of God. Worthy. Not of our own righteousness, but His blood. We owed Satan our graves the moment we sold ourselves to sin, but our God TRADED Himself for us. Took our place in the grave, took back the keys to Sheol, and conquered death itself.

Now who of us has the RIGHT to say who deserves mercy and who deserves death?

It may sound like I want no person to have to pay for their wrongdoings, for slave traders and rapists to get off scotch-free. Absolutely not. For every action there is a consequence, and our earthly laws need to reflect that. God's purchase applies to EVERYONE who wants to be called His. Here I speak of salvation, second chances, and the respect we must show to one another as masterpieces whom God deems as valuable as His Son (again, by His doing only, not our achievements or abstinence from sin). To label another human being as irredeemable is total trash. To not reach out to them, to not AT LEAST always make known to them their choice to come under the purchase of God's redeeming love, that is condemnation of which we have no authority to hold over another man.

Yes, I believe a pimp should be harshly sentenced by the law and separated from the very people they are taking advantage of for a very long time. The potential buyer of another human being should be so conscious of the fact that if they are caught, the consequences would not be worth the purchase of temporary pleasure. The chances of being caught should ideally be very, very high. But what of God's love can we show to these? How can we show them that they CAN die to their greed and come under the purchase of Christ's sacrifice? And most of all, how can these bring glory to God?

How AMAZING it would be to have a redeemed trafficker in our family! How powerful their testimony for the glory of God, how useful their experiences would be in order to bring more prodigal sons back into the Father's arms? Where there is much to forgive, there not only mercy abounds, but grace overflows.

I am also by no means downplaying the horrendous suffering endured by those who have been trafficked. Should you forgive the one who made you work with no compensation, or the one who raped you daily and convinced you they did not? Should you forgive the one who sold you to 50 or more men a day and made you believe that was your only source of value, or forced you to mow down your own family and told you it was the right thing to do? I tell you that it is nearly impossible without the grace of God in your own life. But I must also ask, is your life your own? Anyone who has done these to you has done them to God Himself because you are not your own. And He has already paid for their sin.

I ask us as fellow humans who have been redeemed, to get rid of our hatred once and for all. We do not have the right to withhold from any other person God's gift of salvation, nor do we have the right to withhold from God the very people that He deserves!

Do our hearts break when we see that the Lamb who was slain does not receive the reward of His suffering? Or do we say that it is just that He does not?

3 o' Clock Miracle

Reminded now of the times when God changed the weather with the release of a prayer.

I'm sitting on my roommate's bed, still somewhat in shock. Busyness all around the building, Florence singing love songs on the other side of the wall, airplanes flying low over the base. I can't move but I can't stay still! The dried tears on my face joyfully praise God and repent of the doubt that previously lingered in my heart. I tried not to doubt the promises that God had already spoken to me, time passes but His word remains solid.

When praying with a friend for provision to staff the Abolitionist DTS, He made His promise clear enough for me to be sure that it was His word and not my fickle heart. She and I both got gold dust on our hands, and my worry was gone. I thank God so much now for that neon sign, because otherwise I wouldn't be sure that I actually heard His voice calling me here.

I knew I WANTED to go to India and Nepal for outreach, but I wanted to seek God's will for the end of the school. India/Nepal? Thailand? Las Vegas? I'd prayed a bit but still hadn't heard His voice. One Wednesday morning during worship, my spirit cried out to hear God's heartbeat and for my heart to beat in sync with His. On the way to my room a couple days later, I randomly laid my ear over India on the giant map, and I heard a heartbeat! Not audibly, but I knew it wasn't my imagination. India and Nepal it was.

I have been unnecessarily been worried about finances this month, because I could not raise the funds on my own, nor did I hear God telling me a specific way to raise the money. I knew God had promised the money and called me to go on outreach, so this week I've had much more of a peace about it, but have been quite impatient for God to provide the funds. Yesterday I decided I would still pack and ride with the India team to the airport just in case God sent the money at the extreme last minute, because I knew it was coming one way or another. Still, I was prepared to stay in Vegas if that should be the case.

At 3 o'clock, the absolute deadline, someone donated all the money needed to pay for everyone's outreaches who hadn't had the money! I have no clue who it was, and the base director won't tell, but to everyone who prayed, and if the sponsor is reading this right now, thank you. Thanks so much for being obedient to God's call for you to be a blessing and for releasing God's promises!

Wow.

Wow.

Wow!

WOW

So now, I guess I could ask for more prayer, as we all need it!

-For my family
-For team unity
-For all of us to hear God's voice clearly
-For strong discernment

If you have anything that I can pray for for you, please email me! BUT, please don't use the words pray, God, Jesus, or anything like that. Ask me to ask dad for something and proofread for any Christian/religious words. Don't want to get in trouble with the government!

Thanks :)

God is my strength and is the victory of His people.

Details

I have a lot of really cool things that God has done in the past week that I could write about, but these couple little things have significantly increased my faith in God and the power of prayer. It's when He takes care of the little details that I am again taken aback by Jehovah-Jireh. He is so constant, so consistent yet mysterious, so... thorough. I don't know why I still have doubts that He hears and provides.

While taking a moment to pray and write before our presentation at Mariner's Church in Irvine, I couldn't help but be worried and frustrated over the van door and my pen. I had jammed both and couldn't fix them. Really not wanting to cause everyone to have to get in through the front doors, I prayed that God would fix the van door. While I was at it, I prayed for my pen because it was frustrating me. As soon as I prayed, I clicked my pen closed and that was that. A few minutes later, one of the girls came back from retrieving something from the van, and said the door was perfectly fine! So there are two little details that God took care of right then and there. Might sound silly, but I was touched that He would hear such a small request! How could I ever have even thought He wouldn't?

This morning I was getting my things together to go to the bank, when my keys went missing! I put them in my pocket, sat down to look up the closest bank, went into the lounge to show Joe a picture of a hamster, and then my keys were gone. I was looking for them for half an hour, had prayed a couple times for God to help me find them, and still no keys. I texted my friend Kenny and asked him to pray, and before I even got his reply, Jake brought me my keys. Cool right? I was still pretty frustrated, but the prayer of a friend got my keys back. Way cool. Still a minor detail depending on how you look at it, but God certainly cares enough about car keys!

I know He answers prayer because I prayed for the rain to flood the streets over the sidewalks and it did! I prayed for a little sister and God gave me two! Kenny and I prayed that his flight would be changed to Monday, and guess what day it got delayed to?

Matthew 18:19
Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.

God cares! So I'm asking you, will you agree with me for outreach funds? If God is asking you to support me in this, will you follow through?

Thank you SO much for your prayers, keep up the good work!

$2315 to go!

Nothing He can't or won't handle.